i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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