Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
