I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
