i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
