Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
