On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
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