He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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