i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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