My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
