Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize