Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
