Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
