it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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