I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
No...this little piggys going to the bar
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Randomize
