what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
