You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
