as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
My penis needs a shock collar
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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