I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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