went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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