I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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