we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
