Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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