He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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