first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
