Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
