I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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