their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
