then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
