we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
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