so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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