i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
