On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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