Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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