not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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