wrigley field is MILF paradise
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
MIDGETS
????
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
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