you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
