Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I need water and some morals
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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