Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
