I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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