The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
