I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Randomize
