what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
