Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize