i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
You pole danced in your parka.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
