You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
