Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
