This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
she peed on how many people?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
True strength comes from lack of pants
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
