The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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