My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
