You can't motorboat a personality
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
