We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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