Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
His nipple licking is glorious
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
