grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
