You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm too high and old for this...
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
