I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
