No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Randomize
