i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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