Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Randomize
