I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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