so let's talk penis.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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