I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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