oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
