Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
